Change..Responsibility..and..Opportunity

Change - to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone:

Change is one of the hardest things for me..it just may be because I'm stubborn, but change is just scary. I know that with change comes opportunity, but there is also room for new mistakes, new disappointment, and new problems..maybe I am just looking at it from the negative point of view rather than the positive. Change can also be just what helps me to grow up, to live learn and move on. Change just may be what I need to get what I want out of life I cant just sit back and act like life isn't fair..Hell life has never been fair, and I don't know what possessed me to sit here and feel like I was the exception, like I was so different that life itself would stop dead in its tracks only to cater to Amanda Joy..I have been spoiled and not so much in materialistic way but in the way of my thinking, I have taken everything that I have been given for granted only to sit back and pout when I don't get more..people have been through hell and back in their lives and here I am complaining about how lost I am. Change is my next step and I can sit here and type and talk about it all I want but finally I WILL be about it. But with change comes the next word.

Responsibility - Something for which one is responsible; a duty, obligation, or burden.

I dread responsibility not only because its a big word but because its a scary word..if they turned it into something that people actually enjoyed saying than the world would be a better place..lol.
Tonight I realized that I have to own up to my mistakes and my down falls instead of trying to make an excuse or look at what someone else is or isn't doing. I need to stop selling myself short. I need to be responsible, the time I had to learn it is up, I just have to do it..no questions asked. It will be a long hard and tough road but no one is going to do it for me, I have to learn how to do it for myself. Its time..I say that I cant stand being treated like a little kid..but have I shown that I can be treated like an adult?? Have my actions shown that I can be responsible..(NO)..so why am I feeling like the victim ??..My grandma once told me that "nobody can make you feel a way...you choose to feel that way," at first I thought it was a bunch of b.s. I'm not even gonna lie, but she was so right, I choose to feel mad, sad, irritated, aggravated, agitated, and just pissed, like somebody owes me something..nobody owes me a penny off the street so why am I chosen to feel like this. Responsibility is a beast but I live and I learn and I move on...why not take the responsible way out.

Opportunity - a situation or condition favorable for attainment of a goal.

With Change and Responsibility comes Opportunity. It is said that God will never give us more than we can bear, but I also believe that God will give us what we want when he feels that we need it most.(if that makes sense to you..it does to me..lol) If I expect great opputunities to come knocking down my door I must be working pretty dang hard.. I am going to recieve great opportunities but the only way that I will accomplish that is if I change my ways (not who I am) and become a responsible young adult..I will make mistakes, I will mess up and things are not going to be easy as pie on a sunday morning..lol. But I need to learn that and deal with it. opportunity comes with a price and I have to be willing to pay it and move on to get my reward, my gold at the end of the rainbow.