I hate confrontation, like I loathe the very thought of it. I cannot stand to feel sorry, or to feel that something is my fault when I know deep down inside that it isnt I just have feeling like the "victim" but I hate the fact I dont know how to change it even more. Everyone seem to be okay with the on and off caring switch when all I can do it act..I can act like I dont care but deep down inside im screaming..like I feel like I am in a sea of terribleness and am drowning and I cant stand it anymore. I just want it to be over. I HATE HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!! Im tired of crying on the inside and smiling on the out...I cant stand to feel pain anymore because it has become a normality like it just a thing that happens every day....I am tired of getting scared and thinkin and playing the "what if" game in my head....but I cant feel this way I cant let the DEVIL have this much conteol over me and I wont...I have to stand up and rebuke him in the name of Jesus and stand up for what is right..stand up for what I beleive in...and do what I know i need to do..God has helped me through Many difficult situations in the past and I know without a shadow of doubt that he will not give up on me now. I know that he has my back and that when I say what needs to be said he will be my comfort. God is my refuge, God is my strenght..when im weak he makes me strong ... I would be nothing without him.
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