You live and you learn..

For the past few days I have learned so many things. Some were relearned, some I already thought that I knew, but the fact remains that I learned. I am now working at a small wine shop in one of the local malls and there have learned so many things, for one I learned alot about wine and I dont even drink it...I have also learned that when someone comes in asking about a specific wine it is better to say it taste like what you read on the back and make them believe you actually know what you are talking about, another thing is I thought wine was an easy thing to sell..half the world are people that drink because it has alcohol in it but the truth is its not, when it comes to wine people know exactly what they want..even if they dont they still act like it. And I cant blame them because when it comes to wine I act like I know what i'm talking about.

Another important thing that I have learned is never close a store gate when you have to go to the bathroom with a dress on...Your probally thinking why would I do that in the first place but people do crazy things when they have to pee...Dont Ask...lol

I have this one guy friend and I kinda stopped talking to him for a bit because I felt like he was becoming a bit attached to me and I dont like that at all, because I did not feel the same way and I felt like he shouldnt feel the way that he does (but i cant stop him). He called me a couple days ago and asked why I have not been talkin to him...I didnt know what to say, so I let him know that I was busy and he basically called me a bad friend..maybe I was being one maybe during that time of me not talking to him is when he needed me the most..but I have always believed that if I dont feel comfortable with something than remove myself from the situation..The way that I did it may have not been the approach that I should have taken but still, like I said you live and you learn. Anyways I called him back and asked a simple question " what do you want from me?" he said " a friendship," so I told him that he had that and asked, "what do you want that you feel that you cant have?" and he simply said "unconditional love." The only people that have uncoditional love for me is first and foremost God and my family. No one else..so how do you love unconditionally without feeling a sense of attachment..is it possible??

I am slowly learning to find my voice..I realize that I cant hide behind someone elses I need to find my voice and speak up for myself because if I dont than, I wont get anywhere, I wont become anything, and I wont progress.

I never believed when people say life is a battlefield, but now I am starting to see the light. Life is a battlefield from start to finish, you fight to crawl, you fight to walk, you fight to talk, you fight for what you want and you dont stop until you get it. I am learning to fight, for some odd reason I used to trick myself into thinking that I dont have to fight that someone can do it for me, but where has that got me?? Im not in school, I dont have my own place, I dont have my own car, and that is no ones fault but my own, because I could be in school right now, I could have a car right now and I could have my own place right now. But I dont, because I choose to slack, to be lazy, to sit on my happy little butt and do nothin. Well now I am a different person I am tired of the doing nothing phase in my life I need new, and I need it now..lol