Who said that I couldnt do it...

Today I just closed a chapter in my book, I know what I want and I want him, but what he doesn't want me. I gave him four months of my time and undivided attention, but now I need to put that time and energy into me, I love the way that he makes me feel and the way that he puts a smile on my face, he was my sweet a-hole..lol..but that is the reason that I had to close the chapter forever. I was getting in to deep, I was making it complicated, but I was not asking for anything that was unreasonable. I am not sure if he wanted me to leave, but I have always believed that if you want something bad enough you fight for it, you make sure that if you did all you could to keep it safe. I am precious, and I am worthy, I am not the one missing out on a really good, thing, I had to make a choice I had to know without a shadow of doubt that this is for me, this is something that I have to do for me. I am looking out for me. I know it sounds selfish, but I feel like I deserve a selfish moment. A pastor once told me that it is okay to say "no." So I am saying no, no to low self esteem, not to not feeling worthy, no to the guys that I know are no good for me, no to holding on to something that wont hold back, I am now saying no. I am a force to be reckoned with, I have a new outlook on life and a new attitude. I am not something to be played with no matter how much I like you, I must not be important if all you see me as is a game. I deserve more, and if you are not willing to give it, than you can watch me have it. :P


I am Amanda Joy Walters
and I refuse to let the devil try and steal my joy!!