Someone asked me what my biggest fear is..I dont have a list I dont have an answer that just comes to mind at the asking of that question so my answer is always simply, " I dont know." Truth is my biggest fear is facing my fears..I hate to try something and it be in vain. To be so determined about something that when it comes down to it, it never comes to pass..I am scared that my determination will turn to disappointment, that I will have no fight left in me to fight. I dont need that, nor do I want it. In the last 10 months I think that I have faced to many of my fears; I learned how to drive, I am going back to school, I have learned to grow up and accept responsibility, I have learned that not everything or everyone is how they seem, neither are their opinions. I am growing, that in itself is a scary thing. Part of me feels like I have failed my self, I have failed my family and I have failed God..well I want to thank him for second chances because without it, I wouldn't even be here right now. I just have to learn to take what I was given and learn from it, I cant continue to go down the path that I am because it will not get me anywhere at all. In january I start school. In January I start a new life a new start I can be whoever I choose to be..but the question is who will I be? Will I be the person that I know God has called me to be?? Or will I be the person that I dont know the one that does what she wants regardless of what anyone has to say..the girl that is going to go all out and act like she has no respect for herself, her life, her family and most importantly her God. I refuse to be that person. I need to be the person that God has called me to be, because with him anything is possible and I will accomplish all things.
I run my fears not the other way around.
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