The way he...

So I met this guy an umm...he is cute..he has swagga and he walks and talks with so much confidence..it kinda hot...we kissed...we kissed a kiss that you cant forget because when he kissed me ...he kissed me...he didn't kiss with false hopes of tootin and bootin ..he didn't kiss with the assumption that he would get any further..he just kissed..me. I wanna say that he see me when he looks at me..but that's where I draw a blank...I feel like he refuses to see me..because he is leaving and seeing me would cause to much interest and to much interest will make him do things that he defiantly does not want to do...so he sees the me that he wants to see..but I see him...I looked deep into who he was trying to figure out why he does the things he does..he is a confident man...with passions and goals..although he sells himself short at times with occasional doubt...he is stubborn and strong minded..but if you push hard enough he may likely be swayed if your point is as valid as he needs it to be..he is a curious guy when he curiosity is stroked the right way..you have to catch his attention ..and once you get it you have to hold onto it..if not turning away will be an easy thing for him to do..he doesn't do the church thing..although I wasn't aware that that's what it is..church is a place a noun..but never a thing. So why am I sooo interested..why do I want him to want me the way that I want him..?? I think its because he is a mix of my past infused with what I want in the future..he has his bad boy moments the dominance I like...the gentleman that I never got a chance to experience..and he doesn't want me..well not in the way that I would like him to..Its hard wanting something that you know is bad for you..its like candy..it gives you cavities..roots your teeth...can give you diabetes but its good..really good and to some addicting...well for me wanting what I cant have is like candy..than when I discover that it can be mine I no longer want it..its only good for the wrong reasons..he is only good for the wrong reasons...I cant move allowing him to be a gateway into a life of mistakes..and I cant allow him to be an exception knowing im not even his option...what to do...what to do..