Running

What does it mean to run away from something..is it still considered running away when you have no place to go, or is that just the point of it all. Sometimes I feel so helpless to where all I feel like doing is running, running until I can't run any more until my feet are bleeding and sore...because if I can jus escape the feeling of helplessness than I will be okay..I wish just for a second that people will stop listening to what they think they hear come out of my mouth, be quiet and just live my words...live what I tell you I feel ..live my emotios so that thier arent any judgements or the "i have been through the same thing bull," I am just tired of feeling like I am in a sinking sand and people walking around me having sonversation as if they dont see me sinking...or is it that I only allow them to see what I want them to see...ugh...the things that go through me are more than words can explin, more than what I feel I can even put in words..but one thing that I do know is that I am drowning in a sea of unaccomplishments a sea of dont's, didn'ts, shoulda, coulda, and woulda's I HATE where I am at in life right now and I HATE when people look at me as though I am over reactng...this is my life I live how I am taught to lived, how I am forced to live, how I remember to live. Its rare when I catch a breath of fresh air, I am just contiuing to learn to hold on to the little oxygen that I have left, I know that God has a bigger plan and purpose to my life...but I want to know wat it is because often times I feel a though I dissapoint him with my imperfections..I just want to me ME, but im afraid somewhere down the line I lost sight of who that was...and im getting tired of struggling to find it...I am just soo tired..I hate having a giant imagination while feeling so small...I hateseeing the world move while I stand still..I hate feeling life flow through me only to see it leave to another...where do I go from here, what do I do...because I constantly put others before me to make sure they are doing okay because I would hate for them to look down on me when I am willing to move up..I want a new job I want to be in school, I want to do things for me..but everytime that happens I just end up on the back burner because I put others feelings before my own. Running has become a habit with me so much that I dont even realize that I am running at times..I see the world filled with colors abstract art and views that only people wish for..but then I turn to my world and see doubts insecurities and fear, and know that is not of God ...knowing that I have to stop and do what is required of me but HOW?? How do I say no to those who I help so much as well as them helping me..How do I stop and changedirections only to walk instead of run?? How do I slow down without falling only to get up and run again with fresh wounds that never had time to heal..I am tired, and yet my legs still move, I am all dried up, and yet the tears still flow...running is a unwanted talent I didn't ask for.<img src="http://theblogbooster.com/pixel.gif" width="0" height="0" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; " alt="" />